Monday, May 11, 2009

The Saga Begins...


I'm here. I'm awake, I'm aware, and I'm alive. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Far too long, I've just gone through the motions and settled for whatever falls in my lap. That will never happen again. Today I reclaim my life.

For as long as it matters, I've wanted to drive cross-country and see everything that America truly has to offer. I am part of an immigrant family who was brought up on the American dream, and I believe it is still alive and well underneath all the make-up and flashing lights. I've always been drawn to small towns, real people: the heart of what makes America what it is. Every time I see movies or pictures illustrating grassy plains, cascading mountains, long stretches of desert, or pacific sunsets, I've felt a longing to be there, to experience, and to become a part of it all.

Growing up, I moved around a lot, and by the time I graduated college, I had considered myself fairly well-traveled. Almost 10 years later, I've traveled much more, but come to realize I am almost 30 and there is so much of the country I have yet to see. That I want to see. And it's all in my backyard.

My whole life, I've always been drawn to the concept of freedom, whether it be financial, spiritual, or in its most literal sense. To me, dropping everything I'm doing to go drive across the country and see and do whatever comes to mind embodies the concept of freedom. It's a rite of passage that feels almost inherent to this country and its ideals.

I want to do this, and I need to do this. I want to take a step back and get down to essentials. I want to enjoy the fresh air and the flowers, the trees, the water, the mountains, even the grass. I want to appreciate life in a more pure sense. I want to enjoy the country, the land, the world.

I also want to meet the people who are the backbone of this country. I've spent enough time mingling with fake people, politics, and fronts. I'm a real person with real problems. I'd like to meet some real people and have some real conversations. Something about sparking up a chat with a local stranger at a diner in Missouri or a laundromat in Tennessee seems alluring to me. My first years in the U.S. were in auto industry towns. People who really worked for a living, but still had character, culture, and history. That's who I want to drink my beer with.

At least some part of my identity corresponds with that of a travelling man, whether it be that old world notion of packing onto a huge ship and braving the oceans for opportunity, or the die-hard spirit of building iron tracks across a new nation and travelling great distances by train. Or the classic idea of hopping into a convertible and driving from one coast to another. Maybe part of it is that ancient instinct to want to conquer the world in some way or another, and it translates in a healthy way by covering as much terrain as this short life will let you.

Thus I come to the realization that I have been in one place too long, and I think it's time for a change. I want to see and experience different ways of life, and I also want to see if there is a new place out there to find that feels like home. It is time for me to pack up and go and see where the wind takes me.

I have a lot of things to figure out and think through, and I am sure this is exactly where I need to be. Which is everywhere. I want to find myself again, and I'm going to love who I find. I want to dream and pursue and succeed again. I want to be awesome, and do awesome things. And never look back.

This trip is a metaphor for my life. Right now I am truly living. And I love life. I'm so grateful for my life and every opportunity I've ever been given. And I can start to be grateful for every hardship and every struggle. I'm happy.

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